I have the feeling that knowing my dad disallows me from engaging in life. I'm in a tight spot where he set my priorities, but as I watched him interact with life, I noticed both how people did not uniformly like my dad and how embarrassed I was to agree more with the people who didn't like/agree with him. So, I'm left in a spot where he wants to be in my life, but the more I think about him, the more I disassociate with my own life. Talking to him and knowing him fuzzies up my mind.
I think my wife likes me for who I am but I don't like interacting with the world at large because I see my dad in my actions.
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